Their ‘life’ in your hands, or just a job? Exploring the PhD supervisor self and performance of caring work

To my PhD students, I am the one to metaphorically hold their hand through their research journey, I am the one who knows what buttons to push, and what to say and when to say it – perhaps. I am the one who can reduce them to tears or place them so high they reach cloud nine and burst with pride. I too can feel these range of emotions vicariously. So, what about me? I am an academic, a researcher, a teacher, a colleague, a PhD supervisor. All roles I take seriously, and there are many. The PhD student is not always my priority yet is part of my academic role in supporting the academy in, I hope, a care-full manner. Via an auto/biographic narrative I explore the self as a doctoral supervisor. Their life is in my hands, but at what point does the PhD student take control and recognise the supervisor is ‘going home’.